The Leprechaun

While hiking in Ireland on a cold and crisp morn,
I had an encounter with a real Leprechaun,
He wasn't of great size, just reaching my knees,
But walked right up to me as bold as you please!
"Good morn to thee young man," he said with a bow,
"Pray kindly tell me where you're off to now."
Well, taken aback as I was with this sight,
I said that in Cleveton I'd be spending this night,
With humming and hawing, he scratched at his jaw
and said, "So you need to walk this road for sure!"
I said that I did, and to my great surprise
he puffed out his chest right in front of my eyes!
"Just as I thought," he said, "but just so ye know,
I must collect a toll from ye afore ye can go."
I stood looking down at him, starting to laugh,
and told him this road was a public footpath!
"Now listen," he said with a sweep of his hand,
"I own this road, and I own all this land!
If you're bound for Cleveton, and I know this is true,
Pay me my toll or I won't let ye through!"
Feeling slight anger at this dwarf dressed in green,
I said I'd be damned if I'd pay him one bean!
"Besides," I said, "though this fact escapes your eyes,
You are a midget and I'm thrice your size!"
Though I expected some more of his quips,
A loud peal of laughter spilled forth from his lips!
"A midget?" he cried, plainly thinking me mad,
"Thats one of the funniest names that I've had!
But as you're a stranger," he said with a smile,
"I see you know nothing of this emerald Isle!
Leprechauns are legend and revered by all,
though we are tiny, our powers are tall!
My magic can stop you from travelling this road,
I'll do that by turning you into a toad!"
Becoming alarmed by this turn of events,
I decided to give him a handful of pence.
Dropping my knapsack I knelt on the ground,
The Leprechaun watched as I rummaged around,
Then before I knew it, as quick as a flash,
His little hand greedily snatched up my cash!
As quick as a wink he was gone from my view,
leaving me broke sitting out in the blue!
When I reached Cleveton much later that night,
the constable listened as I recalled my plight,
"So what you are saying is early this morn,
you were held up and robbed by a wee Leprechaun?"
I said that was correct and was indeed the case,
and watched as a scowl settled there on his face!
"I so wish you foreigners would not come out here
and belittle the fables that we hold so dear,
You may think us stupid, but I must insist
that bloody wee Leprechauns just don't exist!"

Invasion

Like a rain of fiery bullets
the capsules fell from space,
And everywhere they touched the earth
a plant grew in that place,
Within the shortest space of time
they grew in every plot,
In gardens, fields, on roadsides,
In the town and parking lots.

They thrived upon our warm rich soil
and grew in strength and size,
But Man still did not see the threat
right there before his eyes,
And then the plants developed spines
so lethal, sharp and thin,
And with this last defence in place
the slaughter could begin.

Pulling roots up from the ground
the plants were free to roam,
Converging on the towns and schools,
surrounding every home,
And those poor souls who ventured out
not knowing they were there,
Became infected by the spines
that fired through the air.

And those that were unfortunate
enough to feel their sting,
Became in turn a spiny plant;
a mindless evil thing,
And so as the infection spread
and panic became rife,
Groups of humans stayed indoors
in a bid to save their life.

By the time the forces came
to kill the plants with fire,
Most of mankind ended up
in one big funeral pyre,
So when you notice that tall plant
with spiky looking stem,
Don't shrug and think "It's just a weed,"
It could be one of them!

Mermaid

The Mermaid sings her lilting song
to all the men at sea,
Her haunting voice invades their dreams,
"Come close, come follow me"
Beneath the waves she mourns alone
and waits for her true love,
Her keening cry will reach the ears
of sailors up above,
For those who just cannot resist
the plea in her soft breath,
Awaits the cold and vicious sea
as they go to their death,
The Mermaid comes to welcome them
and takes them by the hand,
And willingly they follow
to her underwater land,
Some men say she is a curse
on all who sail at sea,
Some believe she feels their pain
and tries to set them free,
But still the Mermaid sings her song
to those who sail above,
Who follow blindly where she leads
and offer her true love.

Ode to Heaven

I went up to Heaven
and knocked on the gate,
Angel Gabriel said
"Can I help you, mate?"

I stood there politely
and then I replied,
"I'd be much obliged
if you'd let me inside."

He pulled out a register
and looked at his list,
I noticed his mouth
had an arrogant twist.

"So sorry," he said,
"but that I can't do,
It should be twelve years
before we see you."

I said "That may be,
but all things get changed.
I'm sure my admittance
could soon be arranged."

Well, Gabriel tutted
and told me to wait,
Then went off and left me
alone at the gate.

Quite some time passed
before he came back,
His eyes were all glassy
and his jaw hung down slack.

"My apologies," he slurred
"For being a long time,
But the Boss kindly offered me
a few cups of wine."

He said, "As for you,
I just can't let you in.
It seems yours was suicide
and that is a sin!"

I cried "Thats so unfair!
So what shall I do?
Cloud hop for twelve years
then come back to you?"

Well, Gabriel sneered
as he said with disdain,
"I suggest you go downstairs,
don't come here again!"

He turned with a flourish,
In a wink he was gone,
And I was left thinking
that Heaven is a con!

But I wasn't upset
for I had a plan,
In case there were problems
getting in with The Man!

I moved away slyly
and looked for a place
Where no one could see me
or the grin on my face!

I knew going Downstairs
just wasn't for me,
Up in the big penthouse
was where I would be!

So without hesitation
and proud of my sense,
I pulled out my bolt cutters
and hacked at the fence!

The moral, dear Reader,
In this tale of mine,
Is plan things out properly
and then you'll be fine!

If you're planning suicide,
then this you must learn,
Take the right tools
if you don't want to burn!

The Demon Tree

Far out in the wilderness
there grows a special tree,
It seems to be quite ordinary
to folks like you and me,
But many centuries in the past
this tree was bathed in death,
When from it's boughs a witch was hung
and made her final breath,
For as she died her spirit rose
and sank deep in the wood,
And so she gained eternal life
the only way she could,
Legend says the tree can move
into a different place,
And if you gaze upon it's bark
you'll see the witches face,
Her laughter echoes in the night
and people shake with fear,
If you should see this demon tree,
I beg you, don't go near!

The Cats Purr.

Softly sighing in his bed
he floats on waves of sleep,
Fingers flexing as he dreams,
his breathing slow and deep,
Slightest movement filters through
and he is half aware
of tiny feet upon the bed;
the slightest pressure there,
Moving softly to his side
to pause beside his hips,
Recognition comes to him,
a smile forms on his lips,
He knows the softly humming purr,
the body held so tight,
So familiar is the weight
that snuggles here each night,
Half awake he reaches out
to gently touch the face,
Fingers touching just a void,
a cold and empty space,
Waking now, his wits return
and knowledge floods his head,
Puss no longer comes to him
for his dear pet is dead,
Sitting upright he can see
the indent by his side,
A trail of pawprints on the bed
the moonlight does not hide,
And then he knows without a doubt
some bonds are meant to stay,
And though dear Puss has travelled on
he has not gone away.

Death Comes to Town.

Dust motes twist a mysterious dance
beneath a hazy sun,
A deathly stillness fills the air
as life before had done,
A creaking shutter gently sways
with paint all cracked and worn,
On vacant houses all askew
neglected and forlorn,
Shops with windows empty and bare
and panes of filth and grime,
That once were clean and filled with wares
back in another time,
And people that were surely here
have gone without a trace,
Leaving phantoms of their lives,
a pale and ghostly face,
And those who stumble on this place
should never stay till night,
When something wakes and walks abroad
with hunger in it's sight,
An ancient evil now awake
has visited this place,
And gorged on blood and human lives
of which it's left no trace,
And what was once a thriving town
lies desolate and stark,
Its occupant deep underground
where he will wait for dark.