Ode to Heaven

I went up to Heaven
and knocked on the gate,
Angel Gabriel said
"Can I help you, mate?"

I stood there politely
and then I replied,
"I'd be much obliged
if you'd let me inside."

He pulled out a register
and looked at his list,
I noticed his mouth
had an arrogant twist.

"So sorry," he said,
"but that I can't do,
It should be twelve years
before we see you."

I said "That may be,
but all things get changed.
I'm sure my admittance
could soon be arranged."

Well, Gabriel tutted
and told me to wait,
Then went off and left me
alone at the gate.

Quite some time passed
before he came back,
His eyes were all glassy
and his jaw hung down slack.

"My apologies," he slurred
"For being a long time,
But the Boss kindly offered me
a few cups of wine."

He said, "As for you,
I just can't let you in.
It seems yours was suicide
and that is a sin!"

I cried "Thats so unfair!
So what shall I do?
Cloud hop for twelve years
then come back to you?"

Well, Gabriel sneered
as he said with disdain,
"I suggest you go downstairs,
don't come here again!"

He turned with a flourish,
In a wink he was gone,
And I was left thinking
that Heaven is a con!

But I wasn't upset
for I had a plan,
In case there were problems
getting in with The Man!

I moved away slyly
and looked for a place
Where no one could see me
or the grin on my face!

I knew going Downstairs
just wasn't for me,
Up in the big penthouse
was where I would be!

So without hesitation
and proud of my sense,
I pulled out my bolt cutters
and hacked at the fence!

The moral, dear Reader,
In this tale of mine,
Is plan things out properly
and then you'll be fine!

If you're planning suicide,
then this you must learn,
Take the right tools
if you don't want to burn!